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but what if it ain't no news that I want. I'm getting sick of having to hear nothing's wrong.
Maybe this time, just maybe, I'd rather
- to live my life before I die
- to regain my sense of touch
- to know why the hell things like this only happens to me
- to figure out who really are themselves
I guess that's just how you function and probably no one can change anything.
Note to self: dude! Live your own life. MYOB. You are not anything to change anybody. Deal with it. If you can't, quit it.
- Mood:
blank
On the other hand, I can't be bothered about who reads this anymore alr. To every one more that I tell, somehow I feel a little more me. heh. I feel so very much drifted from a lot of friends too these days. sighzy waizzy. I swear A levels is too much stress for kiddos to handle and the rob too much of our youth away. Especially being in such a low end JC, there's always this insecurity about expectations and results. Even when the teachers believe you can, you doubt yourselves. When you get that A during exams, no amount of assurance is ever enough that it's equivalent to that in As. I really wanna go into a reputable university. But then again, I've no idea what I'm aiming for, what I wanna be. Following some others' footsteps may actually be an aim. But it's your life, what's the point? I always remember you saying,"Dreams will always be dreams until you achieve it." Why aren't you here to scold me anymore..... I may have achieved mount everest if you are still here, always underestimating me, making me face my innermost fears. Where have you gone? And you who will always be there to comfort me, believing in me. That no matter what happens, it's always worth that effort to try, and giving up is no no. (though a that time I really did think deep and hard.)
whatever the case, back to studying. fml.
It's amazing how I miss a person that I don't see, and forget about a person that appears in front of me everyday. I might just have tried to hard to forget you, and I suppose I succeeded? Just wanted you to know, lead your life however, whatever way you want it to be. You are officially out of my life.
This year SYF sucked. lots of silvers, few bronze and 1 COP with only 1 GWH and 2/3 gold?! how on earth did they judge man. but oh wells. like what they say, it's the journey not the result. Results only show a momentary judgement. Journey is the experience you gain throughout the road leading to the results. And what the journey has taught is what the result will never reflect.
I remember in the beginning, I was so hesistant. BAND or TRUG. Now band didn't do well, but trug is thriving. But I thouught over it and realise if given a second chance, it'll still be band. Though this band is not good. not good at all. Bronze. But now I really understand what band, a collective term of musicians that come together to play music is. Back in crescent, though a gold band, I always wanted a solo, something that made me stand out. But this time, I realise that there are people out there who deserve GWH but have always only been in a silver band.Though contented I may be, indignant I am feeling now. Through this band journey of a short 1/2 months, I have made so many friends. Friends who are glued together through music. And like "memories of friendship", we really portrayed that fact. We never started this journey together, but whatever it may be, we'll end it together. This is not a setback. This is a stepping stone, one that will only take us further. It will not put us down but lift us up. If we has a silver, we might have been obssessed with the result. But with a bronze, only then we realise the journey leading up to what we are today. And nothing's ever gonna beat that. All I have to say now is THANK YOU and LOVE YA FOREVER. PJCSB <3
(ONE BIG FAMILY)
"Friends" sometimes mean nothing at all
At the end of the day, you look around you only to find that you're all alone. cause no one's gonna be there for you. Those whom you once thought will stick with you through thick and thin have just walked out on you. Who's really gonna know what exactly I am going through. Tough it may be, I'm just gonna have to pull through alone.
Dear lord, thank you for never forgetting nor forsaking me. Thank you for providing me with the strength I need especially in times like this. You never fail. Amen.
